If you are a mum, chances are you’ve heard about this before (and a lot!). If you are an expecting mum, you are gonna want to read this as Separation Anxiety will be one of the most challenging stages to go through, at least it’s been for me.
I thought I knew everything about Separation Anxiety after experienced it with my first girl. They get all clingy, they don’t want you out of their site and they are constantly freaking out at the very minimum attempt to take some distance.
All babies go through it but they say it peaks right around 10-18 months (that’s where my 18 months old is sitting at the moment). Now, if you are like me and think that because you are a SAHM your baby won’t get it that bad, you are probably wrong… and also, probably right, coz you know how nothing (and everything) can work for everyone?
So today, was one of the hardest days I’ve had with my girls, I swear I’m sure they are both going through Separation Anxiety together (M is 4 years old and Z is 18 months old). Today was a freaking challenging day. Today was one of those days when you question yourself, when you think “I’m doing it all wrong”. Today I felt so so so vulnerable, I felt raw, I felt my heart beating so hard! Today was a horrible day. It really sucked. And you know what? I’m ok with it.
Today nothing worked to keep the girls happy! The only thing they wanted was to be touching me, on top of me, right on my face… literally ON – MY – FACE! And I stupidly was trying to get rid of them so I could make the beds, the washing, the cooking, and now that I think about it… who cares??? Why was I making it even more difficult for everyone?
I’m lucky enough to have a husband who understands how shitty parenting can be sometimes and he would never say anything if he doesn’t have dinner done or something like that. So who did I want to impress?... NOBODY!
So I went through the day in this state of almost crying, almost yelling, almost losing my shit, instead of stopping and looking at these beautiful girls just wanting more love than usual from me. Why oh why! And now I’m here regretting the days, hours I wasted … and you know what? I still didn’t get anything done!
I guess what I want to tell you all here is… when Separation Anxiety bitch arrives (how will you know? … oh believe me, you WILL know!)… don’t make any commitments, don’t start any projects (and by projects I mean, changing the bed sheets, sorting out the clothes kids don’t fit anymore… that kind of projects, mum projects).
Just make your coffee stronger that week, buy extra ice cream & snacks, and try to go through your day in s l o w m o t i o n.
Believe me, you’ll feel shit at the end of the day if you ended up with a clean kitchen but didn’t give your toddler the extra attention… coz that’s how I felt.
Now, remember when I said I was ok with today being a shitty day? … I’m ok, because hey! I’m a mum but surprise surprise… I’m also a human being and I’m also learning about all this new emotions.
I’m grateful for this shitty day because it was like an intensive learning experience. I feel like I’ve unlocked another super power and tomorrow I’ll face that Separation Anxiety bitch and I’ll turn it into a “I just need more love today” kind of stage.
Thanks for reading.
Be kind to yourself.